WASHINGTON—U.S. Senator Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) on Thursday spoke at the 92nd Winter Meeting of the United States Conference of Mayors (USCM), a non-partisan organization of over 250 mayors from cities across the country, to discuss how cities and the federal government can work together to tackle loneliness and foster social connection in their communities.
“What I know is that there's just something a little wrong in this country today. You're just seeing all sorts of things that are not normal. That we didn't see a quarter century ago, right. It's not normal for a woman to be shot for turning into the wrong driveway. It's not normal for thousands of people to take a drug that's designed to dull the senses and facilitate withdrawal from life. It's not normal for citizens to storm the Capitol in a desperate attempt to keep their preferred leader in power. There are all of these things that are happening in our society today that are deeply abnormal. And so, I think this is a moment where all of us have to step back, right, and have this conversation with the country about why people are feeling so unhappy, so disconnected…I think it's a project that will bring left and right together all across the country. And if we do it right, if we find a way to help at the federal level, and the state level and the local level, build more connective tissue for the people that we serve, we will make a pretty big downpayment on addressing the spiritual, economic and cultural health of this country.
On defining the problem, Murphy said: “I've struggled to find a great word for this, but it does feel like, in this country today, we're having a spiritual crisis. Right? A crisis of meaning. What's the purpose? Why are we here? And I know often that sounds like a conversation that is better for philosophers or theologians, but ultimately, what's our job as leaders, right? What's your job as a mayor, what's my job as a United States Senator? It's to create a set of rules and laws that allow people to lead a more meaningful and more purposeful, a happier life. And it just strikes me that folks are more unhappy, more anxious more on edge than ever before.”
Murphy continued: “People are working longer than ever before because wages haven't caught up and we talk about wage policy as economic policy, but it's social connection policy too. If you have to work three jobs then you don't have time to belong to your church, you can't be part of a social organization. People have to work 70 hours today to make the same amount of money for their family to enjoy the same quality of life that 40 hours would have gotten you just a few decades ago. And so wage policy is not just economic policy, wage policy is social connection policy. It's one reason why you should be pushing us to do better on the minimum wage, on access to collective bargaining.
Murphy highlighted the relationship between gun violence and loneliness: “I can't work on the issue of violence and specifically the issue of gun violence without reconciling the reasons that people get to this moment of desperation, where they are dealing with internal demons, and they decide to exercise those demons by turning a gun on others. So many of the shooters in this country, whether it be homicides in our cities, or whether it be mass shootings in our schools, are perpetuated by deeply disconnected and lonely people.”
On working towards solutions, Murphy said: “The reason I came here today is because many of the questions about how we build connection, those are in your hands, right? A lot of what has happened over the course of the last three decades is that those third places, the places where people meet, they have just atrophied, they've become weaker. You've had a rapid decline in church membership, union halls are empty, veterans organizations are closing up shop. We can be engaged in a conversation about how through both federal and state and local support, we try to be more purposeful in keeping open and vital those third places where people meet. Downtowns are a place where connection happens. And downtowns are suffering all across the country. So, let's be in a conversation about how federal policy and local policy can revitalize those downtowns. Creating programming that builds brings people together, that's another way to solve for the loneliness crisis. Give families and kids more reason to come out of their house and be part of the community.”
A full transcript of his remarks can be found below:
“Really wonderful to be here with you today. I know there are a number of our Connecticut mayors out in the audience today and so I'll give a shout out to— I see Danbury and Hartford and a few other friends here. Thanks so much for asking me to come by to talk about this topic that just connects with all sorts of apolitical people out there that are desperate for what we're talking about in the halls of government to be connected to their sort of real-world problems.
“I am really thrilled to have a conversation with you today, the beginning of a conversation, about the withdrawal crisis, the loneliness crisis, the social isolation crisis, in this country. Mayor Schieve was nice to reference the work that I've done on the issue of guns.
“I know for many of you, you live every single day with the epidemic of gun violence in this country. But I came to this topic of loneliness through a lot of pathways.
“First, I'm a parent of a teenager and a preteen and I see what's happening to our young people today as they withdraw into their screens as they spend less time with peers. But I can't work on the issue of violence and specifically the issue of gun violence without reconciling the reasons that people get to this moment of desperation, where they are dealing with internal demons, and they decide to exercise those demons by turning a gun on others. So many of the shooters in this country, whether it be homicides in our cities, or whether it be mass shootings in our schools, are perpetuated by deeply disconnected and lonely people.
“But I also just spend a lot of time in my state talking to regular people. And what I know is that there's just something a little wrong in this country today. You're just seeing all sorts of things that are not normal. That we didn't see a quarter century ago, right.
“It's not normal for a woman to be shot for turning into the wrong driveway. It's not normal for thousands of people to take a drug that's designed to dull the senses and facilitate withdrawal from life. It's not normal for citizens to storm the Capitol in a desperate attempt to keep their preferred leader in power.
“There are all of these things that are happening in our society today that are deeply abnormal. And so, I think this is a moment where all of us have to step back, right, and have this conversation with the country about why people are feeling so unhappy, so disconnected.
“I've struggled to find a great word for this, but it does feel like, in this country today, we're having a spiritual crisis. Right? A crisis of meaning. What's the purpose? Why are we here? And I know often that sounds like a conversation that is better for philosophers or theologians, but ultimately, what's our job as leaders, right? What's your job as a mayor, what's my job as a United States Senator? It's to create a set of rules and laws that allow people to lead a more meaningful and more purposeful, a happier life.
“And it just strikes me that folks are more unhappy, more anxious more on edge than ever before.
“And yet, there's all sorts of good news. The unemployment rate is at a structural low, GDP is growing, factory construction is booming... and yet, people are still unhappy. People are engaging in these behaviors. Violent behaviors, behaviors of self-harm, that suggest the things we are doing, the policy dials that we are turning, are not actually meeting people where they are.
“There's this amazing longitudinal study that Harvard did. I think it's over 75 years of data. It tracks people all over the country, both rich and poor, educated and uneducated. And it's asking one simple question: what makes people happy? Over the course of your life, what are the factors that cause you to say, 'I am leading a life of purpose, a life of meaning, a life that that makes me content?'
“And what that study shows is that the one thing that matters most to happiness is not your career, is not the amount of money you're making. It's friends, it's your connection with family. It's whether you have strong bonds with other human beings. That was the sum total of the study's findings, that it is connection that leads to happiness and fulfillment.
“And so that's caused me to ask this question: Are we measuring our success as policy leaders in an accurate way if we aren't actively thinking about policies that build connection?
“And I'm just going to tell you, you know this, we aren't measuring those kinds of policies. We measure our success in terms of GDP, in terms of the employment rate, in terms of test scores in our schools.
“I'm not saying that all those things aren't important, but maybe we need to have a more purposeful connection about how we connect people together. Because the stats are damning right now.
“As a parent of teenagers and preteens, maybe the stat that concerns me most is the number of young people, in particular young girls, who report intense feelings of loneliness. Double the number that reported that just years ago. The amount of time that our kids are spending with peers has cratered in the last 30 years, and we don't have to ask a lot of questions as to why that is.
“But this is a broader epidemic. Not just of kids, but of adults as well.
“Let me give you one stunning statistic. In the 1990s, three percent of adults in America said they had no friends, no friends. Today, that number is twelve percent. The number of people who say they have three or fewer friends has doubled in that same amount of time in this country. The amount of time that adults say they spend on a weekly basis with friends or with family members is half as much today as it was in the 1990s.
“This is an epidemic and it's an epidemic that has happened almost overnight.
“And so it just to me is not a coincidence that people are reporting feeling worse about themselves. They are engaging in these behaviors that communicate to us that they are feeling worse. And we have this crisis of connection and isolation and loneliness in this country. And so I'm here today to just ask you to be in a dialogue with leaders like me about how we do better.
“The reason I came here today is because many of the questions about how we build connection, those are in your hands, right? A lot of what has happened over the course of the last three decades is that those third places, the places where people meet, they have just atrophied, they've become weaker. You've had a rapid decline in church membership, union halls are empty, veterans organizations are closing up shop.
“Well, we can be engaged in a conversation about how through both federal and state and local support, we try to be more purposeful in keeping open and vital those third places where people meet. Downtowns are a place where connection happens. And downtowns are suffering all across the country. So, let's be in a conversation about how federal policy and local policy can revitalize those downtowns.
“Creating programming that builds brings people together, that's another way to solve for the loneliness crisis. Give families and kids more reason to come out of their house and be part of the community. The new mayor of Hartford is here, and in our capital city, there simply aren't enough rec sports league opportunities because of how difficult it is to fund those opportunities in a low-income city. Let's build more of those places and opportunities in programming to get people out of their house.
“So, we can be in a conversation about the tools that you have at your disposal to try to create connection, the places where people find connection, and we can try to find ways for the federal government to supplement that work. But I'm here also to tell you that there are elements of this solution set that aren't in your hands, that are in our hands. And I hope that you will make it part of your mission to pressure leaders like me to do our own part, right, the part that only the federal government can pursue, to try to end this crisis of withdrawal.
“I'll give you two examples. One of the big problems we have today is just a crisis of free time. People are working longer than ever before because wages haven't caught up and we talk about wage policy as economic policy, but it's social connection policy too. If you have to work three jobs then you don't have time to belong to your church, you can't be part of a social organization. People have to work 70 hours today to make the same amount of money for their family to enjoy the same quality of life that 40 hours would have gotten you just a few decades ago.
“And so wage policy is not just economic policy, wage policy is social connection policy. It's one reason why you should be pushing us to do better on the minimum wage, on access to collective bargaining.
“But social media regulation is another place where you can't make a difference without us. We should pass legislation to restrict the addictive tools that social media companies use to pry our kids away from connection and into their rooms and into their phones. We should give parents the ability to say yes or no as to whether kids can be on these phones, empower parents to try to put their kids in a situation where there's a better chance that they will engage with peers instead of just engaging with their screens.
“So, there are places that only the federal government can really step up and act when it comes to social connection policy. But what I know is that this is an absolutely vital project.
“But what I also know is that there's a lot of folks who believe that there's peril in this endeavor. One headline on my work on this said, 'Chris Murphy wants to help you find friends.' And I get it, I get it, talking about friendship and social connection is not natural to political leaders. We're used to talking about jobs and schools and test scores.
“But I just don't think you're going to meet the spiritual crisis in this country that we all know, you all know, exists, unless we work together on this great, grand, important, and unifying project of connecting people together.
“And so I'm so thrilled, I was so excited, when I heard that you wanted to spend a little bit of time talking about this today. Because I think there is enormous important work to do here. I think it's a project that will bring left and right together all across the country.
“And if we do it right, if we find a way to help at the federal level, and the state level and the local level, build more connective tissue for the people that we serve, we will make a pretty big downpayment on addressing the spiritual, economic and cultural health of this country. Thanks a lot for having me today. Appreciate it.”
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Click Here to Watch Murphy’s Speech at the Conference